Lost in the clouds.

GeodeBoy (1:25:23 AM): i seriously watch that thanksgiving video at night before i fall asleep
GeodeBoy (1:25:39 AM): you feel closer when i see/hear you laugh





We are entirely too far away from each other.


There needs to be more to my life, that isn't Panera Bread.

They grow suspicious of where your loyalties lay.

I need a fresh start.




or to start over.



There is a difference between the two.

I feel stupid when I realize how close my face actually is to the computer.

Odd

I find it odd that I am still able to sit in my work clothes... 3 hours after I'm out of work.

I also find it odd that I am able to be okay and still friends with someone who completely word-fucked the place I've worked for the past 3 years.

With people like that...when they stand their ground...what is the point of an arguement? Especially if this person doesn't even work at your place of employment any longer. No sense....none.

Had it been anybody else that had made such bold statements about Panera....especially since I was mentioned in this statement...I would have more than likely said what was on my mind and felt nothing but disgust for said person...but this wasn't the case at all. It still isn't.

When you don't get a person, you just don't get a person.

Scratch that. I totally get him, but his mind works in ways of rollercoasters and mazes. It's not healthy and its not bareable by any means. Its a way of a joke, and to fall for that joke makes that in itself...an even bigger joke of all. How does he think that way? Why?

When you set someone up to fail, what do you gain from that? Why ask things knowing the response you are about to get...just to judge someone by that? How is that gratifying?


I understand him, I just don't understand him.

My confidence is a pop-up book.

I'm a smart human being.

I am.






Unfortunately, I can also be completely naive and blind to things because my trust wins over the first two.

Wait, I thought I didn't trust easily? Turns out I guess I do in certain circumstances.

My new goal is to find out what these circumstances actually are, because right now...what the fuck.

I don't understand how two people can use each other physically...and still be okay with it while it's happening...or afterwards, for that matter...or ever?

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out. I will put my foot down. I will not be walked all over. I will do my job and only my job...no emotion attached.

Somewhere in between I fall short. I loose sight of things and get too involved. I don't willingly do this-- it's just my nature to do so. This is the reason why I am stressed.


I need to get rid of this exhaustion. Is it healthy to want to scream at the top of your lungs 24/7?

Hey, probably not.



I want my life back. I don't know how to live for myself. Wait, yes I do.....it's just not allowed.

Last I checked, this was my life. Why am I letting everyone else tell me what I should do?

"It is not what you do, but more importantly, it is how you do it"-thanks across the universe.

My thoughts are scattered.

Me:Vacation, where are you?
Vacation:...
Me: Yep, you're gone...probably not coming around any time soon...are you?
Vacation:... :\
Me:Yeah, I figured.
Vacation: can't win 'em all!
Me: Fuck you!


That's how it goes. I'd show you a picture but I lack the motivation to use MS paint. Is that what it's even called on windows vista? I suppose I don't even care.


I don't even have anyone around to enjoy my newfound witty humor. How sad.

This life is boring me.

I miss you.